February is often a month focused on romantic love, but what about other forms of love? How important are they, and what role can they play in our lives?
Join Associate Therapist Lee Warwick, LMSW to explore the different forms that love can come in, and the value that differing forms of love bring to our lives.
Romantic Love
Love is often sold to us in a specific way: romantic, passionate, and usually centered around partnership or sexual connection. We are frequently taught that romantic love is the most meaningful version of love.
This is not to say that romance does not hold weight; it does. Romantic and sexual relationships are deeply fulfilling, but they are only one piece of a larger emotional landscape.
Expanding our understanding of love can help us build richer connections with ourselves and others.
Love shows up in countless forms, all of which are vital to our wellbeing.
Familial Love
For example, familial love can provide history and belonging. The neat thing is that families can look all types of ways. There are biological families, chosen families, or intergenerational connections. For many people (myself included) chosen family – friends, mentors, community – is just as meaningful, if not more so, than traditional family structures. Recognizing and valuing these relationships can help people feel less isolated and seen.
The Love of Friendship
Friendship is also a powerful and underestimated form of love. Why is the standard that friendships get pushed to the side once a romantic connection is made? Deep friendships can offer companionship, emotional intimacy, growth, and stability too. Yet they are frequently deprioritized when romantic/sexual relationships enter the picture. When I work with couples in session, something I listen for is whether they maintain their friendships outside of their partnership. Honoring friendships with time and emotional investment can strengthen our outside support systems, but it can also reduce the pressure for our partnerships to provide everything at once. What a relief, right?
Friendships also form communities, and community love is deeply important in a society based on individualism. Community might look like connection to cultural groups, spiritual communities, shared identities, or social causes. Community-based love fosters belonging and collective resilience – a necessity given our current political climate. In times of stress or crisis, community support can be a powerful protective factor.
Audre Lorde said it best: “Without community, there is no liberation.”
Self-Love
Self-love (my favorite!) is another essential, but sometimes challenging, form of love. How we show up with others is often a mirror of how we show up for ourselves. If your foundation is not solid, it can be hard to build secure foundations with other people. Here, I invite you to take a look at what generates fear and insecurity for you. I have found that when I treat my sore spots, I increase my compassion for myself… and I become less sore because of that (go figure). These vulnerabilities might actually be your biggest strengths and a path to forming strong connections with others once you learn how to harness them. When we shift the focus from external validation to internal validation, we improve our self-compassion and reflect on genuine wants/needs. There is no such thing as too much self-love. The more the merrier! The hope is that with an increase in care for yourself, there is an increase in care for others.
Why It Matters
By broadening our definition of love, we allow ourselves to experience connection in ways that might surprise us. It encourages a more inclusive and compassionate understanding of human connection, and it allows us to recognize that love is not a limited resource but a diverse and evolving experience. When we give equal value to friendships, family, community, and ourselves, we craft a stronger foundation that can sustain us throughout life’s challenges.
Interested in exploring the different ways that love shows up in your life? Looking to redefine what it means to be wanted and chosen? Lee is currently taking new patients! Learn more about working with Lee here.
